I wanted the sun rise this morning, and I couldn’t help but feel the goose bumps crawl all over my body. Partly because it was easily the most breathtaking view I have ever seen, and partly because I have never felt more alone. It’s funny how after all these months. I still picture these beautiful moments with you in them. However the biggest tragedy is that you’re no longer in existence. You’re becoming a very distant memory. Like you, you have actually become a stranger. Someone who I used to know.
I want to forgive you. I think it's important. I want to forgive you, because I think I'm ready to forget. And finally forgetting you, and us, will be freeing. I'm scared though. Terrified really, I have spent so long, hating you and crying over you, and feeling so betrayed by you that loneliness has become a familiar friend. It's become the filling to the void that you left me with. I want to forgive you, but how ? I want to taste freedom but how? I want to let you and every single memory with you go, but how? You were my whole life. I grew up literally with you. Seeing you be happy with my (ex)bestfriend should make me want to forget everything. And I do, but I don't. I still have our New York photos, and our couch photos, and our every ducking day photos. You are everywhere. You. Are everywhere. I wish I could be soulless like you. I wish I could go to our old hotels, and restaurants and pretend I don't remember it all. I can't. I watch you buy her the ex
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