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" & I think the scariest part of healing, is the actual healing. I knew that I needed to get better, but I didn't want the pain to stop (yet). I knew that letting the pain go, would mean letting him go. I knew that I would be letting my whole 'ideal' world go. I knew I would have to start from scratch all over again. I wasn't ready to be ready. I wanted to hold onto the unrealistic false hope, and I needed all the bad nights. I craved the flashbacks, and the blurry vision. I wanted the pain."


"-- But, I also knew deep down that I really did deserve better. I didn't deserve to be the fifteen year old girl stolen from her childhood. I didn't deserve my bestfriend doing that, and I sure as hell didn't deserve to give up on future. So eventually, the bags were packed and although my head was a maze of emotions, I ran as far away as I could."


"Did it stop hurting?"


"... No, and honestly i'm not sure if it ever will. But every single day it gets easier, and I get happier. People constantly tell me 'not to worry' that 'one day i'll forget' but that's just it. I never want to forget. I want this to be my lesson. I want to remind myself, and know wholeheartedly that I will never be treated-- MIStreated ever again. I have high standards now, & I think thats the true poetry in all this.."


" The greatest gift I have ever been given, was to be left broken "



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