All right, I know this is long overdue but the truth is I am not good at writing about the happy part of my life. I usually turn to my writing as an escape so when I am happy I obviously want to stay happy, therefore no blogs. But as requested by my mother and some concerned friends..Welcome to a 'happy' blog ...Via instagram, the vote was 50/50 so I have decided to write about my Costa Rica experience.

Five months ago, I called my mum, packed a bag, and jumped on a plane alone to Costa Rica. Some people think it was me running away from a problem, but I know it was me saving my life. Lot's of people have asked if it was scary travelling alone at such a low point in my life, and honestly, the answer is no. Not only did being alone give me a very long time to think about everything, but it also gave me this brilliant clarity. Sure at first waiting in that airport completely alone, with nothing but a broken heart was hard, but honestly, it was empowering too. I remember feeling sheer panic and finding a payphone to call him one last time. I remember sitting there with no answer, tears streaming down my face, and I got up walked myself to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and literally told myself to stop crying, and to walk myself to the fucking plane and to never even think twice about leaving. And so, I did. And I have yet to make a better decision. Travelling alone opened my eyes not only to a beautiful life, but to a new one. I learned so much about how different their culture is. I learned that people there aren't in some frantic rush 24/7. They actually would like to take it easy and enjoy the moment. I learned that there is nothing the ocean and some sunshine cant heal. I learned that no one listens better, than a tropical forest. I learned monkeys are assholes, and we take how our water tastes for granted. And I  learned that no matter how alone you may feel.. our hour long talks with my auntie could fix all the broken pieces inside my head. Costa Rica opened my eyes, and was the number one thing to help me heal myself. I honestly believe if I would've stayed there just a little longer than I had, I would've come back healed. Every day I was there I was healing. It's crazy, but I honestly could feel the hole in my chest closing. I may be an earth baby, but the water soothes my soul. In a moment in my life where I felt I was suffocating, the ocean allowed me to breathe easily. I remember leaving my favorite little cafe with my journal in my hand, and seeing this rock beside the ocean. I must have sat on that rock ( getting completely soaked by the waves) for hours. I filled over 20 pages of my book with every thought just flooding out. I remember feeling very overwhelmed sitting here, it was like the ocean was a blanket and I was hiding under it, just letting all my emotions go. By the time someone finally yelled down to me my face was soaked with tears, but they weren't sad tears. They were happy tears. I felt free. This happened on my second to last day in there. It took me 20 days to be able to let a little bit go. 20 days. So please if you are wondering if you should go travel alone.. GO. It saved my life. It opened my eyes. It fed my soul. I may only be 20, and I know you're probably all over my sad stuff, but if you take anything away from what I post. Please take this away. Travel. Go by yourself. Find yourself. Love yourself. I truly believe I found myself in Costa Rica, and I will forever be in debt to my time there.