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I really want to blog about stuff other than you but fuck you are constantly clouding my fucking mind. Taking up way too much of my space. Taking up precious moments of my life that I should be living free of what you did to me. You have turned me into this victim. I feel like you murdered me. I feel like-- no.  I know that you took something away from me and I am terrified I will never be able to find it again. You took the spark inside me and ignited it so fucking fast I didn't know how to handle it. So I let it burn. I let it burn so fierce I burned bridges after bridges and when there was no bridges left I burned cities. I am walking chaos leaving a mess everywhere I go. And you are to blame. I don't understand why my life is a mess when YOU are the one who did wrong. YOU are the one that took something beautiful and made it ugly. YOU are the one who takes souls for fun. First with her, now with me, next will be the slut but at least she fucking deserves it. I despise you so much I can literally taste the hate on my tongue when your names spills out of me. I hate you. But still, you are constantly on my god damn mind. you are like a broken record on repeat and I want to scream and throw you away. I think I cant get over it because I never thought that I would be the one who got cheated on. Though, I should've known that with you, it was bound to happen because you have never been with a girl you haven't left for another girl. I say girl even though you're almost 40 because you cannot manage to find someone your own damn age. Instead you like to feast on little girls who you hire so you can mould them into this disgusting fucking creature that you only breed to suck the life from. You are some kind of monster. You actually terrify me. You are the best kind of psychopath there is. You are charming, and witty, and funny and even smart. You manipulate, you torture, you torment and you lie. Your big brown eyes with your windswept lashes leave us all frozen in time, staring blankly into your fucking bullshit. Leaving us to hang on every word you utter. You are a monster in all the worst ways. I was an innocent victim, turned cold by you. My spark is finally dulling, but the rage you have created inside me is scary. I can feel it, sitting there, waiting to be let out. I bottle it so far fucking down inside of me only the darkest parts of my soul can tame it. On the outside I look strong, and ready. On the inside I am wasting away. I have grown tired of the images of you two together. I have grown so tired of the replay of lies you both told me while you were fucking her in my god damn driveway. You both disgust me. I just want my life back, and I want you both to run away- far the fuck away.

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