You make me so happy. You are literally like sunshine to me and you don't even try. I spend such little time with you, and still whenever you're around I feel a little less bad. I feel good. Not even in a I want to be with you way, I just want to be around you. I genuinely enjoy your company. You make me feel like me, without even trying. You seriously radiate kindness to everyone. You make me want to swear less, and laugh more. You make me want to work harder. You even make getting up at 5 not so bad, because I know you might be there. It's nice to have someone like you in my life. I missed having someone to make me smile. Maybe it's because you don't look at me like a pretty girl in construction, you look at me like a person. You always seem like you're interested in what I have to say. I love how you are so whole heartedly you, caring what no one thinks. Not that anyone could ever think anything bad of you. You're amazing, I'm so happy you came into my path. I hope you stick around for awhile.
I want to forgive you. I think it's important. I want to forgive you, because I think I'm ready to forget. And finally forgetting you, and us, will be freeing. I'm scared though. Terrified really, I have spent so long, hating you and crying over you, and feeling so betrayed by you that loneliness has become a familiar friend. It's become the filling to the void that you left me with. I want to forgive you, but how ? I want to taste freedom but how? I want to let you and every single memory with you go, but how? You were my whole life. I grew up literally with you. Seeing you be happy with my (ex)bestfriend should make me want to forget everything. And I do, but I don't. I still have our New York photos, and our couch photos, and our every ducking day photos. You are everywhere. You. Are everywhere. I wish I could be soulless like you. I wish I could go to our old hotels, and restaurants and pretend I don't remember it all. I can't. I watch you buy her the ex
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