I still think about what you did to me. I won't say it's every night, because time has truly changed that. But I still think about it. I think about how we would laugh so hard we would cry, how he would pick me up from your house, and you would watch us drive away. I think about how he used to roll his eyes at us, when we were cracking jokes at work. How I would tell you everything about us. How much I loved him,  our plans about the future. The future I made sure I included you in, every single time. I told you everything jess, and you just soaked it up. You took my words and you made them your notes. I still remember how it felt the night I tried to disappear. I remember how I couldn't breathe, and how I literally felt my stomach and heart shattering. My whole body shook. The pain was unforgettable. It still makes me ill. I think about you showing up to our house, picking him up, and then you both making excuses for why he was home so late. Why I wasn't allowed to come. I still remember the sound of your voice, when I caught you. The look on your face when I stormed into that salon. It wasn't regret. It was fear.  And I think that's what hurt the most. The fact that you, my fucking bestfriend, did not care. You were just scared of what I would do. You stole my life, like it was a game. You took everything from me. Everything. I will never forgive you, but I hope I forget you. Because you are what keeps me awake, and alone at night. And I fucking hate you.