I want to forgive you. I think it's important. I want to forgive you, because I think I'm ready to forget. And finally forgetting you, and us, will be freeing. I'm scared though. Terrified really, I have spent so long, hating you and crying over you, and feeling so betrayed by you that loneliness has become a familiar friend. It's become the filling to the void that you left me with. I want to forgive you, but how ? I want to taste freedom but how? I want to let you and every single memory with you go, but how? You were my whole life. I grew up literally with you. Seeing you be happy with my (ex)bestfriend should make me want to forget everything. And I do, but I don't. I still have our New York photos, and our couch photos, and our every ducking day photos. You are everywhere. You. Are everywhere. I wish I could be soulless like you. I wish I could go to our old hotels, and restaurants and pretend I don't remember it all. I can't. I watch you buy her the exact same flowers, and hide her at the same hotels you used to hide me at. It burns a little. It makes me bitter. It makes me want to keep writing your awful truths. But I need to let go. You hurt me. You did me so wrong. You both have destroyed a part of me I don't know if I will ever regain or repair. But you two, do not, and will never have the power to own me. So instead, I'll forgive you. Not her because she is nothing to me. But you, you I will forgive because even though you have done the unimaginable, I spent five years of my life, dedicated to loving you. I spent five years growing up with you. I was regretting them. But I don't regret them. You taught me a lot of things. You taught me that no matter how much you love someone they will still disappoint you. You taught me that hard work gets you money, but you will lose friends and relationships and family. You taught me a lot of good things too, you did. But you are undeserving of me saying nice things about you. In this post I forgive you. Not for you but for me, because I no longer want you as the anchor to my past. The shackles to my broken heart.  I forgive you because I didn't deserve to be cheated on. I didn't deserve all that you did to me. I forgive you because I deserve to let it go. Why should I be held prisoner to your mistake. Because darling, loosing me was your biggest mistake.